Taiwan GDP Expects Growth In 2020- Bullshit News in Taiwan Reporters Crack The Code of What The Hell That Actually Means

Bullshit News in Taiwan- A Model of Professionalism




Photo by Roman Kraft on Unsplash

A hot news tip came across our wires yesterday from Taiwan News saying that Taiwan's GDP is expected to grow 2.63% in 2020.  Being the professional group of reporters that we are here at Bullshit News in Taiwan, we knew that we needed to deliver this information to our readers immediately.

We ran into a slight problem while trying to cover the story however.


Trouble at The Bullshit News in Taiwan Headquarters

Our office intern, three feet Pete tapped our lead reporter on the shoulder, ''Hey Nardy Nicphearson, what the hell is a GDP?''

 ''How do you expect me to know?''
''Weren't you a Business major?''
''Dude, I went to school online.''

 But, don't think that stopped our dynamic duo from completing the task at hand.


Professional Advice From Dick's Online School of Management & Bullshit News

Photo by Jason Briscoe on Unsplash


''Don't worry three feet Pete, my professor at Dick's Online School of Management & Bullshit News told me what to do in this situation.''
''Cool. What is it?''
''Search Youtube for lectures on the discussion.'
''Oh, right, no wonder they call it an Online School.''
''We got this three feet Pete.''

Harvard's Most Boring Professor







By the time they got to the 1:00 mark of this video, the first one they clicked on, three feet Pete was so bored he actually started counting the hairs on his third foot. Finally, at the 2:00 mark, the actual professor comes on, and he is just as boring as the dude that introduced him

Shortly into the professors long-winded rant about the history of Globalization, three feet Pete paused the video again.
''Do you know what the fuck he means?''
''Hell no.''
''Ok, I had another professor that told us just look for cool Youtubers because they actually make shit understandable.''

This Youtuber Is A Way Better Teacher Than The Harvard Professor

Three feet Pete chimed in again at the 45 second mark of this video

''Oh, so,GDP is the amount of stuff your country makes, and the services it sells?''
''Yeah.That's it.''
''I got an idea Let's go see if the Business Majors know  at National Taiwan University know what the GDP is.''
''I bet they don't.''

Three feet Pete was brave enough to flag down a tall and lanky Ph.D student leaving the Economics Lab.

''Excuse Me Sir. Taiwan's GDP is expected to grow by 2.69 percent in 2020. Can you tell me what that means?''
''Yes, of course. Gross Domestic Product=C+I+G+Xn''
''So, you have no idea what the hell that means, right?''
A slight grunt, resembling an Uh-huh.
'

Ok sir. Do you have one minute to watch this Youtube video?
The student made another slight grunt resembling an Uh-huh.




Now, can you tell me what the hell GDP means?
Oh right, It's the total of stuff sold, and services provided by a country.

At press time, the student was considering dropping out of school, because he realized he is wasting a lot of time listening to bullshit lectures.

We will be back with more Bullshit News tomorrow.

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