Taiwan Owes Me A Thank You
An Open Letter to Taiwan's President, Tsai Ing-Wen Travel to Taiwan to Witness Excellence Dear Ms.Ing-Wen, You have two days to thank me for Taiwan's recent recognition as an up-and-coming travel destination. Appropriate gifts would either be closing the stinky tofu stand near my house, or a job. I suppose I could settle for Chinese lessons from the Island's most beautiful woman instead; although my Chinese is nearly impeccable. You see. My Mandarin is so good I can even order food without one of my many of Taiwanese friends. I will show you one of my secrets to success. I make a noise that sounds precisely like a chicken, when I want to eat chicken. My ordering of chicken could be captured on paper like this," Bak-bak-bak , chicken!" I also have learned to use my arms to flap like a chicken when ordering chicken. This trick improves my chances, of getting chicken. I hold very serious intelligence. I strongly urge you for the sake of your country to ...