In Taiwan, Everything is Easy

"I'm telling you. Not everything can be amazing. I saw the kid choking down a grasshopper on his Youtube Channel while looking like, well, he just ate a fucking grasshopper. But, he still spits out the words, This is Amazing. " This unanimous Canadian vlogger's mom talked more about her overall disappointment with her son.  At press time, she was planning a way to tell her son that she forgot how to use the computer, so she doesn't get guilt-tripped into watching his next boring-ass Vlog with him  going from place to place yelling, "This is AMAZING!"

"I'm an expert at eating chopsticks," this awkward greeting was delivered to over a dozen Taiwanese customers at Long Wong Long's Steak House on Zhongshan Road in Taipei last night. Things got really weird when an American comedian took the stage with a fuzzy microphone to try and tell jokes. A distraught grandmother who witnessed the debauchery named Mrs. Cheng, reportedly even attempted to stab him in the neck with her own chopsticks last night when the American comedian got in the way of her trying to put sprinkles on her ice cream cone.  She told our reporters; " I would have done anything just to shut that idiot up." She continued to scream at our reporters from Bullshit News in Taiwan . "God damn it, I just wanted to put some sprinkles on my ice cream cone, and before you knew it I had this drunk American guy in my face, with a fuzzy microphone telling me that he is kind of an expert at eating chopsticks. Oh, and he would occasionally scre...