Don't Take Travel Advice from Freddy Big Tits

Todd The Engineer  Listened to the Wrong Man

Meet Todd. Todd goes to work every day as an engineer. His hobbies include eating tacos from Macho Tacos, and staring at tits.  But, the one thing Todd likes more than staring at tits and eating Macho Tacos, is his annual vacation to SE Asia. He starts counting the days until his summer vacation shortly after New Year's day.

Last year was unfortunately the last of Todd's SE Asia summer vacations. He went to a country you probably never heard of, Fredina Small Tits. His colleague from San Diego, Freddy Big Tits, the coolest dude ever recommended it to him.

Freddy Big Tits had gone to a rare island a few years ago in the Philippines, called Lola Rocket Tits.

The island of Lola Rocket Tits' name had nothing to do with a woman's breast. The name originated when Freddy Big Tits' traveling pal, Johnny Melons-Sucker liked the previously un-named island so much that he kept saying, ''Bruah, this place is Lola Rocket Tits.'' Apparently, it reminded him of his ex-girlfriend.

But, the locals on Lola Rocket Tits knew about an island even cooler than Lola Rocket Tits. But, the only deal was if they told them where it was, these clever California dudes with a history of naming islands,  would have to give it a name. But, the name just couldn't have the word Big Tits in it. Because, the locals on Lola Rocket Tits worshiped a God called Big Tits, and naming another island nation after this God would come with the consequence of the soil  all over the world only growing sour melons for the next 755 years. And, nobody likes sour melons.

So, after smoking a joint of Astronaut Space Nipple Weed on this un-named island nation, Johnny Melons-Sucker, said to Freddy Big Tits, ''I got it. You're a cool dude.And this places is BIG TITS.  But, we can't call it that. So, we're gonna call it, Fredina Small Tits. It's kind of like if you had a little brother, that's what we would name it.''

So, under the advice of a man named Johnny Big Tits, Todd took of fon his yearly SE Asia excursion last week to the country of Fredina Small Tits, and successfully landed on the beautiful island of Fredina Small Tits. But, he ate some Spaceship Jug Tits edible marijuana, and now he thinks a fish is coming out his ass, and there is a monster coming out of his shorts. This is just the beginning of his problems.

Now, he can't stop saying, ''I'm never going to Asia again. It's too creepy, even for me.''

Poor poor, Todd.