How to Work Your Way into the Shit House as a Small Business Owner

Congratulations Small Business Owner! Everyone offers advice on how to succeed. Nobody ever offers advice on how to bomb. Follow my suggestions. I guarantee a swift journey right to the shit house. ***The tips come from my own six week career as a freelance writer. I think I set every record possible for terribleness. *** #1 Cut off All Ties- Cancel your cell phone plan. Stop talking to people. Allow no way of clients possibly contacting you. Bye- Bye Friends & Family #2 Keep Drinking - Expect low funds. Drink more. Set career highs for your worst hang over ever. Clobber your record high vomit days from university. Bottoms Up Bitches! #3 Go to Bed Later - You need to go to bed one hour later than normal. I highly recommend developing a porn addiction. Great resting spot #4 Check Facebook Excessively - Walk into the room. Turn your computer on. Check all FB notifications. See who liked you...