Showing posts from 2016

Birds Go Chasing Tractors in Taiwan

The rider lugged the usual route of 25 km’s.  He made this one into 12 km’s.
The km’s cover pineapple fields, public mango trees that the public may pick from during harvest time, and a temple on top of a hill. 
With lack of exercise, the rider may walk up the hill some days, and make it up the hill on the second try other days.  
With regular exercise, the rider may walk up the hill some days, and make it up the on the second try other days. 
His bike is possibly as old as he is. This at least offers an excuse.
One wheel laid under the rider’s ass. One wheel rider laid under his hands. 
Giant Bicycle did not offer clients a method to propel the bike forward without the sweat, determination, and legs we all walk on, when this bike was made.
The legs often take the rider to work when a change in the every-day routine is needed.
The same feet that operate the gas and break on their way to Xinying Elementary School from Liuying on other mornings now have more rest from a route that …

No GPS Coordinates No Pics Hiking in Miaoli

My eyes still sloped towards the earth. My eyes sloped with conviction from the previous weekend.  
And so on, and so on.
As I sat last weekend, with the back of the rocks digging into my spine, the dirt attached in between my socks and my shoes, my shoes wet, and smelling like a concoction of stinky tofu & river sweat, I did not wish for a rest.
I did not wish for a bar. I did not even wish for a cold Taiwan beer.
The waterfall gushed from 20 meters ahead.
Now, the events of the previous week pass by without much thought.
The student who didn’t sing Heads & Shoulders Knees & Toes like I asked him to, didn’t seem to bother me as much.
The pride I felt, of Danny the former hellion who never used to speak, having to be told he was singing B-I-N-G-O too loudly didn’t seem to matter
The dry rocks can make your ankles twist with every step. The ankles and the knees only twist to a point of slight awkwardness. They never twist more than they should. At least, we hope.
The …

Big Orange Starts the Death Match


Big Orange Rising
     The  seconds, minutes, and hours, without sun, darted in a flash for the entire clan.  The rocky sand from the South China Sea dotted Sheppy's black fur from nose to tail.  The homes near Sheppy protected with brick, and sometimes concrete. Most of the protectors had serviced their inhabitants for nearly a century. The sand failed to attach to the yellow spot under Sheppy's stomach.  His ribs stuck out far enough to nearly mix the yellow and white.  White seeds of wisdom plotted Sheppy's feeder's  head. The time without sun crashed into another morning for his gentle soul topped in white. Twenty three stairs above it all, the moisture from his bristles stuck to its cotton square. Outside, the light turned off, and turned back on. Neither signaled his bristles' nemesis to take a pause.

Big Orange blasted her disruptions for all to see, but each with a different impact.1/4 of the clan took a direct hit. Poor Sheppy, already sanded up from …

Five Taiwan Kilometers (via bicycle): Two Different Worlds (Liuying to Xinying)

Welcome to my home, Taiwan's farming village of Liuying!

Ole White & Silver

The light gave me a greet.

The bugs stayed away

I popped through my white and silver protector

Ole' White & Silver made her morning's toil.

Good job!

God I Suck at Art!! I toed the 1 cm down to rock #1.
I made #2. 
Six packs of twelve percent peer, and bags of peanut cookies, make a man do funny things in the winter time.
She wore her dress just right.
She made for her machine with four.
Yesterday, I made for my machine from two.
My heart and my legs powered my two wheel machine.
I imagined she went to my old world of dress up days.
Hawaiian shirt day presented the highlight of creativity.
She may embrace the Hawaiian shirt. 
Now, I earn money to play Paper Scissor Stone with second graders.
The lads and gals drool buckets, 
They fall in forty minute intervals. 
They charge forward with all their might everywhere they go.
Sometimes, they add engine noises to their arsenal.
I never liked Hawai…

A Night Out With a Lady Boy in the Philippines

Spain Vs. Taiwan (My Time)
(Spain)---   I could smell the cheese. I could taste the bread.
(Taiwan) –Buzzing scooters kept me awake.
(Taiwan)-- The society stared at their phone.
(Spain) -- Parents supervised kids with a mug of wine.
(Spain) -- Spanish filled my head. My feet shuffled forward and back, I screamed, “I will never leave!!”
(Spain)--I rank the atmosphere in Spain a 10.
(Taiwan)-- Rain scares most. Teachers beat individualism, personality, and opinions that differ, out of more.
(Taiwan)-- I rank the atmosphere in Taiwan at a 1 (on a lively day)
(Spain & Taiwan)They both nearly killed me, in their own way.
I left Spain before the Honeymoon period ended. I stayed in Taiwan long enough to drive a car.
 I Want To Sing Pusong Bato (Filipino Song)
Rum emptied my glass. Rum repeated this process seven times.

The outside heat kept melting my ice.
Conversation elevated my mood.  Riding ‘top down’ made me laugh.
***Top down- piling six people into the side car of a motorcycle in the  Philipp…

How to Work Your Way into the Shit House as a Small Business Owner

Congratulations Small Business Owner! 

Everyone offers advice on how to succeed.  
Nobody ever offers advice on how to bomb.
Follow my suggestions. I guarantee a swift journey right to the shit house.
***The tips come from my own six week career as a freelance writer. I think I set every record possible for terribleness. ***
#1 Cut off All Ties- Cancel your cell phone plan. Stop talking to people. Allow no way of clients possibly contacting you.

#2 Keep Drinking-  Expect low funds. Drink more.  Set career highs for your worst hang over ever. Clobber your record high vomit days from university.

#3 Go to Bed Later- You need to go to bed one hour later than normal. I highly recommend developing a porn addiction.

 #4 Check Facebook Excessively- Walk into the room. Turn your computer on. Check all FB notifications. See who liked your picture from seven years ago. Return the favor by liking random photos for that same person. Bonus points if you don’t give a shit about that person. You go! You'…