One Year in Taiwan, The Good, The Bad, & The Why (Part 1 of Part 3)

Welcome back to Taiwan.

Ugly Green Military Bag- 

My friend Jon, gifted me a military-style backpacker bag from the 70's before I left Tempe, Arizona.

I left Tempe, AZ, for a teaching job in Zhongli, Taiwan.

The bags from flight #542 spun around the carousel in Taipei.

I didn't have to talk to anybody. 

I wanted to hold onto that moment. I hoped my bag never came.

Wait a second.

That would have been dumb if I lived the rest of my life in the Taipei airport. Living in the Taipei airport still tempted me.

The next 24 hours scared the shit out of me. A new life in Taiwan loomed. I knew two things about Taiwan. I knew my toys as a kid were made in Taiwan. I also knew about the Taipei 101.

I only knew about the Taipei 101 from by building/mapping geek friend, Trevor. 

If somebody spoke, what could I say?  Could I say I know you guys made some wicked toys in the 80's.

Grab The Ugly Green Bag

I strapped on my big boy shoes.

Reality dawned on me. I hoisted my ugly green bag over the conveyor built. I strapped it to my waste.

I walked through the international arrival center. 

Thousands of people filled the waiting area. I guessed the amount of people.

The majority  strapped pollution masks to their face.  The people held Chinese signs. The signs seemed neat. It reminded me of the Olympics.

For a second, I felt accomplished for witnessing people wearing people wearing pollution masks. I never saw this besides on the movies.

For another second, the pollution masks made me think. Are pollution and food poisoning going to be a part of my daily life? I don't know why food poisoning fear coupled with pollution.

My thoughts on food poisoning proved to be a mistake.  Pollution proved to be right.

Shane English School Driver Pick-Up 

Pre-Taiwan, I secured a job with Shane English School.

Shane English School sent me a contract, work permit information, and a driver to pick me up from the airport.

The people in my life who never heard of Taiwan felt more secure about me going to Taiwan when they heard I have work, work permits, and rides from the airport arranged.

Shane English School buttered me up with securing what I thought was impossible (job, contract, work permit.) The military also butters up kids looking to run away from home with similar comforts.

After walking down the pickup center, I found a quite and unassuming man with a pollution mask strapped to his face. This same man also held a sign that said, in English, Josh Dent.

He was my driver. I felt accomplished.

If I moved to a new country tomorrow, I would arm myself with a cellphone, a passport, and no fear..

Actually, it would have been way better if the driver from Shane English School would have just let me roam off into the night.

I couldn't talk to the driver. He didn't speak English.

7 Months of Filipino Discos & Thai Buffets

An English speaking lady accompanied the driver for Shane English School.  10 years earlier, the English speaking lady married the driver.

She came from Taiwan. She spoke in incoherent sentences.

The English speaking Taiwanese lady in the car, my boss’ boss,  stilled grilled me to make sure I had a lot of experience teaching English to children. She knew the words "Do you has the teaching experience? We need you to has the teaching experience."

I had no experience. I lied on my resume. I said YES.

Excitement flew at me around the clock for the first 7 months. Sometimes, I returned home from a Friday night out, at 3pm, on Sunday. I didn't sleep much.

I took pictures of mechanical construction dummies, made new friends, dated Taiwanese women, sang Karaoke,  shacked up in dodgy sex motels, ate stinky tofu, ate bitter melon, walked the streets for hours,. I did anything I could.

I stopped at every Filipino Disco, Thai Beer Buffet, in Zhongli while on my way.

On weekends, old ladies labored through the night collecting recyclables, I labored through the night with my glass of rum and coke. 

Eric Kelly, MyChildhood Brother

To understand how I ended up in Zhongli,Taiwan, I have to tell you a good story. 

Our first unofficial Dent family reunion  in 10 years came.

My brother sat on his beach chair, with no beer. I was on beer #3.

He motioned, "Hey Buck,"

He called me Buck, after unfamous NY Yankees baseball player, Bucky Dent. Dent is my last name.

He interrupted my day dream. I day-dreamed about childhood. 

As a child, my dad and I unofficially adopted my next door neighbor Eric Kelly,

His parents gave him early curfews, too many rules, and a lot of church.

My mom and dad split when I was 12. My dad drank Moosehead, and ate peanuts after work. He never got drunk

 After my mom and dad split,  my dad and I bonded over betting on horses.

We bonded too much over betting on horses..

One hop over the fence divided the Kelly's and the Dents..

Two different worlds happened inside each home.

Whiffle Ball 

****Whiffle Ball- Baseball players sometimes substitute whiffle ball for baseball. A whiffle  ball curves, and twists much more than a baseball. Whiffle ball reduces the risk of  injury. People make whiffle balls from plasitc. Whifffle balls are really fun.. ****

Whiffle Ball offered me the chance to get in buckets full of fist fights, and then 10 minutes later be sharing grown up dreams.

Field of Whiffle Dreams in the Early 90's, August

On this Wednesday afternoon, the weather made us (Eric Kelly & I ) sweat like hostages.

Eric Kelly went on to be a top 5 wrestler in PA.

I went on to watch a lot of Montel Williams after school.

I also took a lot of naps after school.  Lucky for me, he always sucked at whiffle ball.

My back yard grass disappeared months ago. The dirt stayed.  The grass couldn't stand up to two 14 year old kids grinding across it for 9 hours a day, for the past 3 months.

Today, we chose whiffle ball instead of volleyball.

Today, I blasted a lot of whiffle balls on the roof of our blue bi-level house  on Blue Ridge Drive, in Nazareth, PA.

If we hit the whiffle ball on the roof, it was an automatic home run.

No Fights, Only Dreams

Today, the 10 run mercy rule came into effect for Eric Kelly.  No fists flew.

After the game, we sat underneath the volleyball net.

Underneath the volleyball net, also housed the pitcher's mound.

I planted my bum in the dirt. My arms wrapped around my shins. I wore the same orange bathing suit with broken draw strings that I wore every day in the summer. I was the eternal summer kid.

Eric Kelly paced around me in circles. Eric Kelly never could sit still.

After such a strong performance, I probably fantasized for a moment about being a MLB player.

Eric Kelly kept pacing around me in circles. I think he only thought about hoping he doesn't get grounded again. I am not sure.

I wrapped myself up in some deep thoughts, at least for a 14 year old.

I always wanted to flee my blue bi-level house on Blue Ridge Drive. My dad always told me stories about him, and my crazy Uncle Dick hitchhiking after college. It sounded so fun.

Before I blurted out my next sentence, Eric Kelly kept pacing in circles.

My ex girlfriend told me about her 19 year old dude friend.  Her 19 year old dude friend couldn't stop masturbating. He saw a makeout scene and he disappeared for 10 minutes.  Public places never held him back.

Eric Kelly and my ex girlfriend's pal  flew on the same wave length with not being able to sit still.

Forget about Eric Kelly, the mad pacer.

For a moment, I didn't think about my sub-par grades.

I didn't think about that I hated reading books. I didn't think about if I can get into a good university. I didn't read any course descriptions.  I didn't think about the application process. I didn't think about anything.

I told Eric Kelly, when I grew up I wanted  to be a writer.

Eric Kelly kept pacing.

Don’t Ask My Brother Where Do You See Yourself in 5 Years?

I still have those whiffle ball field of dreams convos 20 years later. I share dreams without follow up.

The whiffle ball field of dreams convos normally happen on a hiking trail now..Reality crushes me too fast

 Let's go back to the beach in San Diego.

The sun pounded my shoulders. I traded my orange broken draw string shorts for a blue and white bathing suit.

At that time, I always wore a tank top. At that time, I loved showing off my shoulders. Now, my shoulders shrunk.

The, "Hey Buck" snapped me out of the childhood daydream. Now, my brother wants to chat.

My brother surfed  in Peru, and Costa Rica. He also surfed every day in San Diego. His surfing addiction stories reminded me of my dad's hitchhiking addiction stories.

My brother graduated with a degree in Economics from Bloomsberg University.

The stories of his first jobs out of college fascinated me. They didn't fascinate me like surfing stories. The stories still did their job.

The jobs seemed difficult. The challenge intrigued me.

My brother, Ryan is only 5'7. He usually has a goatee and a shit-eating grin on his face.

He traded the grin for a serious look after he became a father.

After he graduated from Bloomsberg University, he became a station manager for Enterprise Rent a Car.

The management team constantly asked him where do you see yourself in five years.  At 23, I imagine he couldn’t help but freak out.

My brother usually took the 5 year question well..

One year,  my brother went to his company Christmas party. He shirt and tied up, and spouted off to every boss that he would have their job by the end of next year. They didn’t fire him that night. I always loved this story.

A week later, they asked the 5 year question. He responded honestly. They fired him. 

Hey Man, You Should Be A Teacher

A few bad jobs later, my brother Ryan fled the business field for teaching.

On the beach in San Diego, my brother wants to tell me I should be a teacher, " Hey Buck,  "did you ever think about teaching? "

His teaching mentor developed him into one of the top teachers in the state of California.He even became an award-winning principal.

At this unofficial reunion, on the beach in San Diego, my brother Ryan was already a father of 2 beautiful girls.

Today, the shit-eating grin faded to more of an occasional smirk. His loud and obnoxious laugh toned down a few notches. I missed the loud laugh. But, I kind of hated the laugh if he was poking fun of me.

Being a teacher wasn’t my dream.  I still never completely shied away from it. After all, I can explain shit in simple terms.

These days,  my brother Ryan seemed more proud than anything.

Being proud differs greatly from surfer happy or hitchhiker happy. A wild spirit loves to see surfer happy or hitchhiker happy. A wild spirit also knows one day it is good to be proud. My friends from college call me Wild Man. My friends from Taiwan call me Crazy Uncle.

Millions more shattered dreams later, the beach conversation came back. .

To Be Continued....

Tomorrow, learn my breaking point for moving to Taiwan

Thanks for listening.