In Taiwan, Everything is Easy

“Look at my face. Not even the hairs on my beard g growclose together. Some lonely shit here in Yunlin County, Taiwan” Steve clasped Charles ‘ shoulder   ”It’s all good bruah.In a week from now, we will both be gassing up on whores and cocaine in MOTHER FUCKING LAS VEGAS! ” Charles chuckled while making eye contact with everyone at the table.  He raised his dixie cup full of Whiskey with something black floating at the bottom while switching to Mandarin so everyone could understand.  “Steve and I have had a lot of fun Saturday nights here with you guys. But, this is gonna be our last one together. Thank you so much for all the good times.” The two local farmers at the table clenched their hands together while their cheeks burned with apple-red pride.   “Ok-La. Don’t forget. Always drink more whiskey, because it makes you stronger.”   The group chuckled in unison as they all threw down the drink that S...

Just wishing you a Happy Year of The Rat!

The Historic Supreme Court Ruling In a landmark Taipei Supreme Court case,  City of Taipe i vs Driver Wu , it actually turns out that lightly beeping your horn twice while speeding through a red light does not make it ok to run the red light, even for taxi drivers.  Police Officer Wu jumped up and down for joy inside the Taipei Supreme Courthouse when the honorable judge Wong offered his verdict in the case. Mr. Wu, the defendant, who works as a taxi driver launched his crumpled up Taipei Times newspaper at the officer as he stormed out of the courthouse. His face allegedly looked redder than when he drinks two glasses of wine. Officer Wu Overcame Insurmountable Odds Our team visited Officer Wu two months ago when we first got word that the case was going to be appealed all the way up to the Taipei Supreme Court. He offered the following comments about whether or not he thought the case could hold up in court. "  Those taxi drivers have been terrorizing...

"I'm telling you. Not everything can be amazing. I saw the kid choking down a grasshopper on his Youtube Channel while looking like, well, he just ate a fucking grasshopper. But, he still spits out the words, This is Amazing. " This unanimous Canadian vlogger's mom talked more about her overall disappointment with her son.  At press time, she was planning a way to tell her son that she forgot how to use the computer, so she doesn't get guilt-tripped into watching his next boring-ass Vlog with him  going from place to place yelling, "This is AMAZING!"

   In response to Taiwanese presidential candidate Han Kuo Yu's most recent scandal of having an alleged mistress ( READ MORE HERE ), Donald Trump has shocked the world once again. Only days before Taiwan's upcoming presidential election, he has tweeted that it is impossible for Han Kuo Yu to have such a lover. That is because the two men are madly in love with each other.   Trump continued to leak some of the juicy details about their affair on his Twitter page.   The love affair comes at an opportune time for the happy couple. That is because Taiwan legalized same-sex marriage in May of 2019. Bullshit News in Taiwan's sources has told us that once Trump is no longer POTUS that they plan on eloping in Han Kuo Yu's Taipei Mahjong den. As for Mr. & Mrs. Trump, the couple is actually not planning on getting a divorce. As a matter of fact,  Melania Trump did not seem to be bothered at all by the fact that her husband plans on marrying anothe...

Bullshit News in Taiwan's lead reporter Nardy Nichphearson got a hot news tip on one of her least favorite expats to cover, Crazy Ted.  Crazy Ted had made a vow in his New Year's resolutions to drink Gaoliang instead of water this year. Dozens of people that read the last report on Crazy Ted did not feel like it could be done. However, Ms. Nichphearson was happy to see his Wednesday evening report from his Instagram listed above.  If he woke up at 6:00 tonight, we could only assume that he was ditching the water yesterday, and pounding the Gaoliang. Good job Crazy Ted!

With America and Iran entering into unprecedented territory, two douchey travel bloggers in Taipei without absolutely any touch with reality took to Instagram to have a heated debate. Their debate could be considered as important as some of  the perennial Russian presidential candidate,   Vladimir Zhirinovsky 's bids to overtake Putin in the last five Russian 'elections.' These two twat waffles spent most of Thursday morning slinging insults at each other over whose Instagram photos were faker. WanderlusharperinTaipei hit him hard with the first dig. Harper appeared to be outraged over TravelinDick's clearly filtered pics from his most recent trip to Tainan seen below here. Harper lashed out at TravelinDick with this MEME. TravelinDick took an aggressive defense by comment bombing every photo on WanderlustHarperinTaipei's photos on his Instagram page.  This hostile move by Travelin Dick left Harper with no choice but to stand...

 A potent cloud of horrific PM2.5 particles has taken up its usual winter residency in Zhushan, Taiwan, this winter. Our Bullshit News in Taiwan travel team reported last winter when driving to Kenting to cover a  Who is the biggest American douche with flip flops and no shirt on at the bar contest last Spring Break , " Two of us had to piss so bad when we got to Zhushan, but we felt like pissing in each other's mouths would be less risky than getting out of the car for a minute to use the bathroom. I think my APP told me if we went outside that it would have been the equivalent of smoking 150 trillion cigarettes. " The town's most lethal factory owner, with the surname of Wu uses the same line of defense from skeptical citizens every winter when air levels get borderline apocalyptic " We need to blame China for this. "   Mr. Wu took some harsh questioning last week from a local resident, which led him to take action. "Uh Sir. I walked past ...

After a year of scandals, and poor on the job performance, Crazy Ted has declared that 2019 will be his year. He has made some shocking New Year's Resolutions in an effort to change his life and the life of his students for the better. A New Strategy For One Particular Bothersome Habit of His Students - If you're an English teacher in Taiwan, you certainly know the frustrations of trying to get your students to remember to add the letter s to plural words. Crazy Ted has declared that the year 2020 is his year to ensure that students will absolutely remember how to correctly say and spell plural words. Every time that a student forgets the letter s while he is teaching, he will take a shit on the floor of the classroom and emphatically scream, "You see that? That's two log ssssssssssss, of shit on the floor. More than one, You add S!". Drink Gaoliang instead of water - Although Crazy Ted has decided to become more demanding this year with his students, ...