Taitung National Pre-History Museum: A Very Special Itinerary for Idiots

By Joshua Dent

Enter Taitung National Pre-History Museum By Hiding From Interacting with Others:

Ask 100 Taiwanese people if Taiwanese people Taiwanese people are friendly. Surer than a bullshit sandwich from Trump when asked about failed campaigns promises, all 100 people will proudly agree.

Hide from this friendliness. 

Take a selfie:)

After all, does asking every person you see if they are married qualify as friendly? :)


Address Please:


PLEASE!!!! Your Chinese teacher  told you she can understand your Chinese very well. She lied:)

 Give the cab driver your address.



  If you can't find the address, just like Taiwan has cheese, Taiwan has this APP called Google.

 The Journey to the Taitung National Pre-History Museum:



Tramp your way back in time. 7-11's & Family Marts are less common than temples without teethless men in these parts.

 As an added bonus, you can one up your annoying FB friend that hashtags every hamburger he eats #Babeslovecavemendieters by going on FB live to announce you're in an area with no 7-11's. Hashtag babeslovedcavemenbefore7-11.

 FYI-A bullshit news channel called News For Dipshits & Dumbasses , reported on the 2:00 news that eating hamburgers from McDonald's doesn't qualify you as a cave man. 

 Too Cool For Convenient:
To prove that you're not like other foreigners that need McDonald's ,KFC, and other whimpy conveniences to survive , you can lock your bike to the tree. You go GIRL! 

The Money: 


80 NT gets you in the door. The price seems fair. Rest assured, some foreigner will tell you one night in a bar that it was only 40NT when he first came to Taiwan in '89. If you're dumb enough to continue the conversation, he will be happy to tell you that you paid way too much money for everything you ever bought in Taiwan.

To be Continued...

Tomorrow, get tips about eating dinner alone in an empty dining hall. Take a tour of Archealogical families,giant elephants, and the handicapped bathroom:)










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