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Showing posts from April, 2013

Best Mother's Day Poem From The Taiwan

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To those of you that have been following along, let me first say that I am flattered that you have taken the time to read some of my adventures here in Taiwan. Many of these blog updates have been stories of drunken debauchery that include pounding beers at 7-11 until the sun comes up. I have been kind of a drunk asshole since I have been here. It is not my true nature. I actually am a caring and legitimate human being. That is why this next story is going to really throw you for a loop. I debated with myself for a few weeks now if I should write about this next topic in public. But, I thought it was relevant information worth sharing. Around 10 p.m., on Easter Sunday, I decided to give my mom a call. I had no idea the dramatic news that I was soon about to receive. The phone went right to voice mail that night. I thought nothing of it . I just assumed she was at church. But, the next day was when I got "the e-mail"  You never want to receive an e-mail addressed f

Taipei Bound, No Chinese, How To Find The "Josh Dent" Sign

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Taiwan Airport Pickup I had arrive at the Taiwan airport after a 15 hour flight in still a bit of a daze. It was all fun and games before I left saying I would have no problem communicating without knowing the language. That airplane was my last bit of comfort I had left before I got to Taiwan. After climbing some insurmountable obstacles already, I still had one more to go. That was to find the one person in a Taiwan airport looking for Josh Dent. In retrospect, it was all pretty minor stuff I went through so far. I was still on a bit of an emotional roller coaster. I always think of customs as the scariest place in the world for some unknown reason. Operation Get Bags I did actually bring two small bags with me that I had to check in. It was totally against my nature. But, I thought I would do it since I expected to get an apartment fairly quickly. With roughly 600 people on the gigantic aircraft I flew in on, this actually made for my first bit of interesting culture

Happy Easter- Wild Man Goes to Filipino Church Searching for Ladies:)

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By Joshua Dent Greetings everyone from "The Taiwan" as I like to call it. Did you ever wonder what Easter is like in Taiwan? If you are like me, you probably really never thought of that. I had been through Thanksgiving and Christmas so far in The Taiwan. Thanksgiving gets pretty much ignored here for obvious reasons. My only Thanksgiving day celebration came from going to a $500 NTD all you can drink night club in Taiwan called Club Wax. Let/s not forget also the Redskins whooped up on Dallas for a Thanksgiving day treat! The Taiwan girls did give me a Thanksgiving surprisewhen they stripped off all my clothes except for my boxers on the dance floor. Taiwan is so weird though. The circle of women around chuckled by covering their hand over their mouth after they admired the work, and then were too embarrassed at what they did to party anymore. Or maybe, I am not as much of a catch as I think after 12 rum and cokes, and alcohol sweat pouring down every bone in m

How to Break a Contract in Taiwan

By Joshua Dent It was a fairly cold, and chilly Friday night into Saturday here in the Taiwan. I would say temperatures were hovering around 14-15 degrees. Much of the last 24 hours was covered with extremely HEAVY intermittent rain showers. Friday at 9 p.m. was no different than any of the last 9 Friday nights for me. I normally am so pissed off and wound up at my boss, and Chinese assistant teacher that I rarely even make it back to my house after work. I headed directly to the 7-11 around the corner for a nice tall can of Heineken at 95NTD to get the night started. For Americans, I am sure you are thinking what a strange drinking spot. But, it is actually quite common to start the night off sitting outside at a 7-11 here. For the first 25 minutes, I sit and think about how much I can't stand my school, and that I am going to be really hating life after I stay out until 5 in the morning tonight, and my alarm goes off at 10a.m. for my first class. Friday night this w

Taiwan Scooter Adventure #2 (Go Left Josh, Just GO Left)

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By Joshua Dent February 28,2013 started out to be what I thought was going to be a fairly typical Sunday afternoon here in "The Jongli"  I woke up at about 12:30 completely hungover and still feeling shitfaced from drinking at two of Jongli's finest watering holes, "The River" and "C'est La Vie" The River is a typical Westerner kind of bar here in Southeast Asia. American music is played the entire evening, and English is widely spoken throughout the pub.  After the River, we headed to our favorite after hours spot called "C'est La Vie." Now, there is ABSOULTUELY nothing French or magical about C'est La Vie. It normally has about 5-7 at most completely slobbering, piss-faced drunk Taiwanese guys in there, and if we are lucky there might be one girl hanging around The one unhidden gem about C'est La Vie is the head bartender there. We can never figure out how to explain this girl. I personally love the fact that s

Tainan Bus Stop Blues

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As I sit here in the Tainan bus station at 3:45 on a Saturday afternoon, I am currently facing two of my biggest challenges this week. #1- Keeping My Eyes Open #2- Keeping My Head Up and avoiding the embarrassment of falling of the bus stop stool while passed out. The one bit of solitude I do have is that the weather is absolutely perfect outside. There is not a cloud in the sky, and the temperature is hovering right around 75 degrees which is absolutely perfect for my own liking. I also have trusty two month old Madgun brown and yellow guitar in its ugly black ripped gig bag. The bus stop is a hybrid between a station and just a very large stop. It probably has about 15-25 people waiting around for the next bus. I am on my way back to Jongli.  Not one of them is of Western descent of course besides me. I am so tired that I can actually see stars coming out of the corner of my left eye. And, I know the other one is droopy. If you are wondering why I am so tired, I will j

Dear World, From Wild Man(Via Taiwan)

Welcome back to Taiwan. I invite you to take a brief moment and think of some of your favorite writers or musicians. Are any of them "normal" ?.  Probably not, huh?? I would also imagine that drugs and alcohol had a huge part of their writing style. This next work was no different for me. It was written around the time of my first Chinese New Year celebration in Taiwan. I had spent the previous 4 nights getting absolutely annihilated on some of the cheapest booze Taiwan has too offer. One of the nights even included a $500NT= 17.50 US dollars all you can drink party at a cheesy night club where I was the toughest guy there at 165lbs. Let's just say I got my money's worth. I am not always proud of how much I drink. And, I actually had to be woken up at The Armory (a local bar) , in Tainan at 7am as I was sleeping outside in the grass. But, there really is something magical about how in touch you get with your soul after some HEAVY drinking. You are re

"Bu Tai Gue Le" How to Piss Off The Waitress and Still Get Her Digits

By Joshua Dent Taiwan women, Thailand women, Viet Nam women, Indonesian women, Filipino women, American women, are just a few of the different kinds of women that you come across here in "The Taiwan." Needles to say, at 35 and single, it didn't take moving to Taiwan for me to realize I understand NONE of them. Today, in The Jongli, was a rather unique day. The weather was fair for this time of the year. It is almost always overcast, with some sort of drizzle, or threat of rain ahead. Luckily, it is getting a little warmer. So, the drizzle doesn't bring that bone-chilling cold that the humid winter months seem to bring on the northern part of the island. After my two hour Chinese class this morning, I decided I was going to visit this Vietnamese restaurant situated by the train station. It had ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with me actually wanting Vietnamese food. It had everything to do with the waitress that worked there. She didn't wait on me the last t

The River of Lost Souls

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8/13/12 How many times have you dreamed of an epic soul-searching mission winding through valleys, mountains, and coast-lines throughout the magnificent USA? I dream of the same by car, bicycle, and even by foot more times than any man could imagine. Any Hunter S. Thompson, or Jack Kerouac fan will tell you that the land of Colorado offers no greater place to let your soul run wild and care-free like a child. After one of the more dreadful weeks in Phoenix, AZ, summer histories that I could remember, I found myself gasping for any sort of rejuvenation in the game of life. Four consecutive days of the 115 plus temperature range was the cutting edge in leading me to a new path. This was a path that was full of risks and uncertainties. But, I realized the biggest loss for me personally was to continue not exploring what existed outside my own bubble of comfort that I had worked so hard to create since 2001 in Phoenix. This is a brief, unedited, and truly magnificent moments