Bullshit News in Taiwan- Taiwanese Factory Owner Tattoos "I Blame The China Dust Storm" On His Right Cheek

 A potent cloud of horrific PM2.5 particles has taken up its usual winter residency in Zhushan, Taiwan, this winter. Our Bullshit News in Taiwan travel team reported last winter when driving to Kenting to cover a  Who is the biggest American douche with flip flops and no shirt on at the bar contest last Spring Break, "Two of us had to piss so bad when we got to Zhushan, but we felt like pissing in each other's mouths would be less risky than getting out of the car for a minute to use the bathroom. I think my APP told me if we went outside that it would have been the equivalent of smoking 150 trillion cigarettes. "

The town's most lethal factory owner, with the surname of Wu uses the same line of defense from skeptical citizens every winter when air levels get borderline apocalyptic " We need to blame China for this. "  

Mr. Wu took some harsh questioning last week from a local resident, which led him to take action.

"Uh Sir. I walked past your factory last night, while I was doing my nightly walk, where I clap as I walk, and bring a portable radio, with the speakers turned up to level 99 as I listen to my Chinese opera song, and I couldn't help but notice that I was breathing black smoke out of my nose, and my mouth. I wouldn't really care. But, it interrupted my singing. Do you have any proof from the EPA showing that your factory is operating at safe levels?" 

He thought to himself, "Shit, I gave those EPA guys a red envelope with enough money to buy themselves the entire city of Taipei, and I forgot to tell them to set me up with some fake inspection documents."

He reportedly deflected the concerned citizen's concerns with an envelope loaded with enough cash to buy the city of Kaoushing.

So, he started getting a little tired of either giving people money or being forced to tell them that they can blame China. That prompted Mr. Wu to make a midnight run to 7-11. He had heard a rumor that the overnight counterperson draws tattoos late at night to help pay the bills. The Zhushan factory owner told the boy to tattoo his face 'You can blame China.'

Unfortunately, things seem to be working out for Mr. Wu. He told our reporters, "Man, I got so tired of telling those people it is China's fault when they whine to me about their inconsequential problems like breathing bad air, and also giving out all that extra money.  Even though my money grows faster than my kid's boner when he sees his mom's catalog of bras, I don't want to be giving it out. But, now things are good. When someone comes storming into my office, I just point at my face, and they usually just shrug their shoulders and say OK-La." 

From those of us here at Bullshit News in Taiwan, we hope Mr. Wu chokes while eating a dish of his own cold and bloody hairy testicle soup tonight.